Sisterhood

I do not like that you cannot write a post on blogger and keep it private like you can in livejournal.....but that isn't what I am here to write about.

I had the greatest weekend that I can remember having in a VERY long time. My best friend, Angie, came down from Cleveland, OH with her two little girls, Jewell (12) and Alexis (8). I had so much fun. Sometimes, it takes looking at yourself inside another person to truly see yourself. Thats how Angie and I are. We are extremely similar in all the BIG ways of life, and how we choose to live our lives. We raise our children similarly. We know that all we have is ourselves to keep our heads above water. We know how to let go from time to time, and just do whatever it is that our heart tells us to do. We know the things that make us happy, and we are not willing to compromise those things for anything or anyone in the world, except our children. I see us both as strong willed, minded women who may die alone someday, but they will never have to say I settled. Even our conscience is similar, because we spend some time questioning and weighing the pros and cons of settling for the sake of our children while trying to find our happiness. 


We both have had that one true love that no one else in the world will ever compare to. However, we have both also been "that girl" that hurt someone who truly loved us because we were searching for "that one". Our lives stay interesting to say the least. We have commonality. We are both as scared as love as we are as anxious to find our happily ever after. We are the type of people that "I love you" scares us. We've simply left people behind, just as they have left us behind, and most of the time....we dont look back either.


We think differently than most people. There arent many people in this world who are like us. Its hard to find someone you can relate to in this life, and someone who knows what you are thinking, what it feels like, or what the fuck to do in the situation we are in to always come out on top. Its more of a sisterhood. A sisterhood of being moms, different, free, chaotic, strong, sarcastic female with a backbone. 


She pulled out of the driveway this morning...and I miss her already.


Tasha hates having company. She hates being around a bunch of kids. Sometimes, I wonder how the two of us can be so different, and still love each other. Shes just happy not to have anymore kids in the house. Shes ready for a little peace and quiet, while I miss the loudness already. This bothers me...but, hey, thats who she is, and I respect that. I just never want to be that person.


This weekend was just great fun. We had Skylar's birthday party, which was a success and a LOT of fun. She had a few kids spend the night. We had kids everywhere all weekend, so I can understand Tasha wanting a little peace. I have to admit, maybe I do too....for a day. I like the calm storm I live in. I like that no one is here as I sit down to write otherwise, Id be interrupted every five minutes. I like being alone. Its comfortable. Still, I miss Angie, my mirror. 

My best friend.....standing against my mural of Brandon Lee from "The Crow"

V.C. Andrews

In sixth grade, I read a book behind my mother's back. It was 'The Prince of  Tides" by Pat Conroy and has  been my favorite book since I finished it. I read it everyday after school. My mother had rented it from the library, and as soon as I came home from school, I picked it up and read until I heard her car, then I slammed it back down on the stove, and pretended to be innocent. I remember the details of this book as if it were yesterday because it REALLY affected me in a way that no other book, except maybe "South Of Broad" also by Pat Conroy, ever has. I felt like this book was reading my life. I still feel that. It is also the only book that I can or have read more than once. I keep copies of this book to pass out among people I met who have never read such a gem. I confessed a few years ago to my mother as we were waiting in line to meet Pat Conroy for the first time. Whenever I need a quick pick me up or I just want to view the language that Conroy uses that i find to be melodic and lyrical, I simply read a few pages of 'The Prince of Tides". It will forever be in my heart.

There are very few books that I have read in life that have had such a profound effect on me, or rather there have been many and it isnt until years later that I realize it. Today, has been one of those days. I have read five books today. Yes, today I read 5 books. You read that correctly. They were all smaller books. Im really not THAT good. Still, as I was sitting in the bathtub with my book, I remembered the first book I ever read by this author. V.C. Andrews

"Flowers in the Attic". Need I say more? I was reading at age 4, and I know I read it before 'The Prince of Tides" so I was somewhere between the ages of 4 and 11 when I fell in love with 'Flowers in the Attic". I found it at the library. I remember being so throughly shocked that a mother could do something so horribly to her children such as lock them in an attic and feed them poison. Still, since I didn't have an attic.....I wanted to live in one....at least for a little while. I have had a fascination with attics since I read that book. (I have an unhealthy obsession with books. I love them too much to put them down, and I like to pretend to live inside them while I read them)

I always identified myself with Carrie in "Flowers in the Attic". Most likely, it was because she was the character closest to my age as I look back. I've always considered V.C. Andrews to be the first horror writer I have ever read. She made me see the world differently as a child. She allowed me to see the evil in the world when I was a sheltered, protected child. I ended up reading every book in that series, and have been looking for that series for a few months now.

I read so quickly that I HATE buying books. It feels like a waste of money to me. Still, the library is no good because I forget to take them back on time. I either read them right away, then set them off to the side to collect dust, or I let them sit a while until I am in the mood to read it. Buying a book seems like a waste of money because I pay 7-30 bucks for a hour, maybe 2 hour, read. So, I have adopted yard sales and Goodwill as my major book buying source, and when I am finished I take them to a used book store for credit towards another book.

So, while looking for the series including "Flowers in the Attic", I found the entire V.C. Andrews collection EXCEPT the ones I was looking for. Regardless, I couldnt resist, and I bought them all. So, today I have read: 'Into the Garden', 'Butterfly', 'Crystal', 'Brooke', 'Raven' and Im starting 'Runaways'. Each tale tells of girls that led miserable lives. 'Into the Garden' even had a scene where a group of friends actually buried one of the girls' mother so that she wouldnt have to enter the "system".

I remember thinking as a child that I wanted to one day write as honestly as V.C. Andrews. It is one of the only times I can remember ever thinking about wanting to write instead of be a musician. I still love the honesty in her writing. Its sad that she has died. How does it work that your family tells the story of the characters you have made after death anyway? I find that odd.......

Still, she explains the complexities of being a troubled teenage girl quite well. I love that. Once, I was a troubled teenage girl. I think I would have remembered everything.....if things hadn't happened the way they did so that I had to make myself forget in order to survive. But, I forgot. When I read V.C. Andrews, I am reminded of that troubled teenager that I once was, and sometimes.....I miss how innocent she was even though she didn't think of herself as being innocence. Then, I wonder if I will one day forget my 30's too, and I become afraid that I might.

Still, there are triggers to my childhood, and V.C. Andrews just happens to be one of those. I have even thought that maybe I am a little foolish for reading something that I would have read as a child. Then, I remembered how much I loved Judy Blume and promised myself to find one of her books to reread.

Regardless, I am having a grand time reading V.C. Andrews. In due time, I will have read the entire collection just because I can.


What book have you read that affected you the most? Why? What book do you, as a human being, relate to the most?

4 days in 11 days.

My best friend will arrive in 11 days. She is coming from Cleveland, Ohio to pick up all of Skylar's old clothes. Overnight, Skylar outgrew all her clothes. She went from a size 12 to a size 1 in Juniors. It kills me inside a little bit that I can no longer go into the children's section to buy clothing. I can no longer know a specific size and just pick up cute clothes. She has to try everything on now. 


Regardless, it is getting me a visit from my best friend. I was going to mail them up, but there is simply too many clothes for that, and we haven't seen each other in three years. Angie is bringing her 2 little girls down too. Skylar will have such a good time having someone to play with. She is also bringing her new puppy, Daisy. 


I am so excited. Angie LOVES waterfalls, so when she comes down....Im going to take her on a waterfall tour and show her all of our waterfalls. It will give Skylar and Jewell (her oldest who is Sky's age) some time together to collect rocks, bugs, and whatever else they find. Her youngest Alexis...is more of a prissy girl so I think she may be bored....but we will see.


Im so excited. Usually, we leave the kids home when we get together so that when we are together, we can do whatever we want without taking the kids into consideration, meaning....we like to hit the bars. This time will be different. Im really looking forward to it. Our kids love each other as much as we love each other. All three of them are counting the days down, just like we are. Its surreal to see our kids so excited. We honestly didnt think about how much the three of them love each other. 


We were greedy with our time together. We get together, and drop off the kids with either her mom when I go up or my mom when she comes down. Granted, Saturday night, all three girls are staying with my mom so we can have a "grown-up" night out. However, the majority of the time will be the two of us with the three girls.


It is going to be such a fun time, and Im so excited to see my best friend. These times are precious. It stinks having a best friend 500 miles away and only having the comfort of the phone in our hands when we talk. Now, we are getting 4 days of face to face time. Eleven days seems forever away.

NIN

SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE. I SHOT THIS. FRONT ROW.

A Letter To My Ex's

I saw this somewhere a long time ago, and I wanted to do it, but never have. For some reason, it just ppopped into my mind again after reading a letter I wrote to one of the two people I have loved with all my heart.

To Steven- Thank you for being my very first boyfriend, and for walking me home from school, and carrying my books for me. Thank you for introducing me to my first "bad" word which were your initials; ASS. I thought of your name when I named my own daughter.

To Mark- I remember you well; my first kiss. I was wearing white short overalls and we were sitting on a swingset. I was still young enough to think that we were truly in love. Regardless, thanks for the kiss. Im sorry I wasn't ready for more.

To Josh R.- You were an amazing guy. You still are from what I can see on Facebook. Our lives took separate directions, but we ended up living them. I dont know why we didnt work out. I guess we were just too young. I loved spending time with you. It is probably childish, but I still have the song "Patience" by Guns N Roses that you wrote for me on a sheet of paper. You are to this day the only person who has ever physically written a song on paper and handed it to me. You knew......that to get to my soul....was through music. It worked. I still cherish those words on that old piece of paper, and Im glad that we are friends.

To Josh L- There were a lot of drugs involved. I dont remember a lot. I remember us getting pulled over with all that pot in the car, and I remember your quick thinking on getting us out of it. I also remember our discovery of sex. Did we have a relationship or just a hookup a thousand times a day? Seriously, those were some good, fun times. I wish I knew where you were today.

To Joe- I was always convinced that you were totally out of my league. I found you to be one of the most attractive people I have ever met in my life, and when I dont hate you, I still think that. Thanks for getting me out of SC for a few years. I learned a lot in Cleveland. Thank you for teaching me that marriage is only for the wretched. Thank you for teaching me that there is NO ONE on this earth you can trust apart from yourself and children.I trusted you. I really did. I loved you so completely. Then, you betrayed me in the biggest way a person can. Still, thank you for my daughter. She is the only good thing about you. Good riddance asshole. I hope you have a miserable life with my ex best friend who lives in a castle on a cloud with her dirty morals and values. I can't fucking wait to get those divorce papers and name changes in my hands. I still have one more thing to ask of you. Stand up and be a father. You aren't hurting me. You are hurting her, and one day she will hate you for the way you treat her by not seeing her. When that day comes, and you question me as to why she hates you.....mark my words....I will simply laugh in your pretty face and walk the fuck away. You are the biggest asshole I've ever met, and I'm SICKENED that I ever trusted you at all.

Angie- I guess I cant put you here because technically I called you my girlfriend. Technically, you were my first girlfriend. Still, we make better friends. We even did back then too, just both of us were curious. I have loved every minute of having you in my life. I am so glad that you are more than a girlfriend to me....you are my best friend forever and always. Thank you for picking up my head when it falls to cry, for wanting to stab a bitch when she hurts me, for devising a plan to get back at the best friend who betrayed me. I cant thank you enough. So, just thank you. Thank you for loving me, accepting me, and more than anything knowing exactly who I am, how I think, how I feel, and being able to hold any secret I tell you. You are the greatest best friend a girl could ask for. In 2 weeks and 5 days, you will be here to visit...and Im as giddy as a schoolgirl. I just wish we didnt live 500 miles away from each other. AND, I wish our kids could grow up together. I love you. No friend will EVER be able to replace you. Theres so much history, some good, some bad with both of us....and we have held each other through it all. I will continue to do just that....as I know you will also.I gained so much more than a little dating relationship, and Im so grateful for that.

DJ-Since I dont really COUNT Angie as a girlfriend, you were my first REAL girlfriend....Hows that? I hope everyone understands that other than just me. You taught me everything I needed to know about sex with a woman. Thank you. I enjoyed spending all those all nighters with you. Im pretty sure that I have no sexual hangups or limits because of you. Thanks. Still, Im sorry I couldnt take all the fighting between us. The sex was great, but if we werent having sex we were fighting, and that isnt a relationship. Still, I enjoyed the good times. Im still glad I met you.

Tasha- You are the only person to ever break up with me, and you did it on Christmas Eve of all days. Then, you wanted to remain friends. Well, we did. Besides, our first date was a strip club....that should have told me something, but there was something about you that i wanted badly...and it definitely wasnt the uniform. In April, we got back together, and remained together for four years until you wanted me to leave again. Then, you had an affair. I had an affair. I guess a breakup was inevitable. Im really sorry about that affair, but I swear i learned soooo much from it. I think you did too.

Mindy- I found a letter I wrote to you today in my things. I wont type it out but Ill make it quick and simple. I loved you. I truly loved you. I would have married you. I would have been so good to you. Over the years, we have constantly said that if we were ever out of our respective relationships, we would be together. I believed that you loved me as much as I loved you. You hung the moon for me. I was your sunshine. I believed all your promises....or lies. We finally had that chance...and it isnt me you are with. I learned a lesson through it all. I finally figured out 'The Reason". Even though I feel fucked over and lied to by you, I cant not say that I dont love you. I do. I still love you with all my heart. Afterall, "Real Love Is Forever". Still, any chance of us ever being together after all this is gone. There is nothing you can do to ever allow those same feelings to resurface. I hope you find a love that will be as great to you as I would have been, and a bootie call when you need it. In the future, don't lead on the people who really did love you unconditionally.

Tasha- We got back together again. It lasted a while before you decided that a 18 year old girl would be a better mate for you than someone your own age. It took me a long time to get over it. I never stopped loving you, but I started hating you too. I hated that you would choose someone so much younger over me who you have had so much together with. Yet, you did. So, you ended our relationship again. I healed. I was lucky enough to find an awesome girl that I would have never thought existed.

Julia- Im sorry I broke up with you to go back to Tasha, but my favorite author wrote a book that has given me so much knowledge and insight into love. I talked to my mother about what to do, and she simple told me her favorite part of that book, "A Southern man always goes home to his family". So, I went back to Tasha, and we are still okay. Still, you rocked my world. I was planning on asking you to marry me right before I broke up with you. I really did love you. Im glad we continued our friendship, and I hope that you live a happy, full life....and Im sure you will. Youre one hell of a catch if I say so myself.

Tasha- I left one of the most amazing relationships I have had in order to come back to you because you cried and begged me to leave her in Wal-mart of all places. Of course, you did this as I was finally really getting over you, and then all the love just swam right back in my heart, and I did it. I came back to you. Im still here years later. We now own our 2nd house. We are attempting a 2nd child. I hope that we are two old women in our rocking chairs on the front porch sipping sweet tea on a hot summer night. I dont think I need to even say I love you. I think you know it. Weve been through hell and back, and its been rough, but I wouldnt change a thing. I look forward to forever with you. Still, my promise holds true...should we break up....You will NEVER get another chance, but I will forever and always love you!

To the hookups that I didnt really date- Thanks for the fun.

Writing Prompt 3-6-10 The Missing Gun

Writing Prompt: A woman buys a gun for home defense, but two days later she can't find it.


Leah went to the gun store and spent about an hour talking to the employee, and trying to figure out which gun was right for her. She held them all in her hands. Finally, after much thought, she decided to buy a Glock 9 mm because she liked the shiny black color as well as the way it felt inside her hand. it seemed to fit perfectly inside her hand. There had been a rapist on the loose in her area, and this had scared her enough to purchase a gun.


Leah took the gun home right away trying to find a place to keep it where it would be safe, but where she could get to it quickly if the case arrived arrived. She wanted the perfect spot so that no one but her would know where the gun rested. She put one bullet in the gun because she was told it would be best to keep it loaded because in a true emergency there wasn't time to load the gun before firing. Leah decided that the best place that would be easily accessible as well as hidden would be her bedside table because no one ever looked there or went in there because it was hers and hers completely. Not even her husband would ever open the bedside table.


Leah checked her bedside table every night to make sure the gun was still there. It always was right where she left it. About two weeks later, before climbing into bed, she checked her beside table and found that the gun was missing. She went straight to her husband ready to confess that she bought the gun knowing that he was a strong advocate of gun control. He told her that he was disappointed in her for buying a gun, but no he had not found it, but if he had, he would have taken it. He told her that when she found it, he wanted it removed from their home immediately. He also suggested something Leah never would have even thought of. He suggested that they ask their 12 year old son, Jeremy.


Leah headed to Jeremy's room hoping that he knew nothing about the gun. She knocked on his door, and heard the normal scramble of a pre-teen right before the door opened. Leah asked Jeremy to sit on his bed so they could talk.


Leah calmly asked, "Jeremy have you seen a gun around this house at all?"


Jeremy quivered, but quickly replied, "No, Mama. Why?"


"I was just wondering. Jeremy you do know that we do not agree with having guns in the house, right?" Leah asked her son.


"Yes mama. I know". he replied


Leah was perplexed. She had no idea where the gun had disappeared too. She checked the house, even cleaned it throughly looking through every nook and cranny trying to find the misplaced gun, but to no avail. Leah finally decided to call the police, and report that the gun was missing. The police took a report over the telephone, and told her that a report has been written, and they will be looking for the gun. Luckily, she was smart enough to still have the box and receipt, so she had the serial number the police had asked for.


Knowing that this was all Leah could do at the moment, she restlessly laid down to go to sleep. She didn't get any sleep that night because she was so worried about the gun being lost and missing. She just couldn't figure out where the gun would have disappeared too. She checked everything so throughly.


The next day she tried to forget about it, telling herself that the police would find the gun. Besides, Jeremy's friend Devin was coming over for a playdate. Jeremy and Devin ran off to Jeremy's room to play. Leah was downstairs making them some fresh chocolate chip cookies.


When the boys were safelt tucked away in Jeremy's room, Devin said, "I brought the gun back. My mom never found it. I kept it safe for you. It is so pretty. I have wanted to play with it so bad, but I didn't because I wanted to wait for you before to see what you thought".


Jeremy replied quickly, "Pull it out of your backpack. Let's see it."


Devin quickly pulled the gun out of the bag and playfully aimed the gun at Jeremy. Devin handed Jeremy the gun, and he followed suit, and aimed the gun at Devin making a "bam" sound as if he had pulled the trigger. Then, handed the gun back to Devin.


Devin asked, "Is the gun loaded?"


Jeremy replied, "Of course not. My mother and father are against guns. They surely wouldn't have a loaded gun in our house".


Devin said, "Awesome", aimed the gun at Devin, and shot. It was loaded. The bullet went through his heart. Lean ran upstairs after hearing the shot leaving the oven door open, and found her son on the floor not breathing with blood everywhere. Leah started screaming. her husband was at work. She ran to the phone. She called 911. She called her husband. She just stood there over her only son's body regretting ever buying that gun, knowing that her husband was right or wishing that she had taught Jeremy more about gun safety. She knew he was dead, and she also knew it was her fault.


After emergency services arrived, and Devin had gone home completely devastated and scared, she went to her bedroom alone without the gun since it was taken as evidence even though the coroner would list the death as accidental gunshot. Leah was so depressed and upset over loosing her son that she knew she could never continue in this life. She went to her medicine cabinet and took every pill there was. She then laid down, went to sleep hoping she would be back with Jeremy in heaven, and never woke again.

Writing Prompt 3-5-10 The Long Airplane Flight

Prompt: A flight attendant learns that one of the passengers has brought a weapon on board.


"Sir, I'm sorry, but you can't sit here at the front of the plane because their are assigned seats, and your seat is on row 12, seat 3. At least you have a window seat", the flight informed the passenger.


The passenger responded, "I will pay any amount of money to keep this seat. My bags are already in the overhead, and I talked to the lady who had this particular seat, and she agreed that it would be fine to switch our seats since I had a window and she didn't".


"Well, I guess that is fine as long as the person who has this seat has agreed. You can stay here, sir. Sorry for the disruption", the flight attendant told the passenger.


Everyone buckled up, and the plane ascended into the beautiful, perfect blue sky soaring like a bird with the greatest amount of freedom one can acquire. The flight was leaving New Orleans heading to Ohio. It would be a longer flight so the passengers pulled out their books, laptops, and ipods, and began to make themselves cozy.


About an hour and a half into the flight, the passenger who had the seat troubles in the beginning started to make his way to the cockpit. The flight attendant saw this, approached the man, and informed him that he couldn't enter the cockpit. He pulled a Glock from his side and shot her, causing havoc to ensue among all the passengers on the plane. Several passengers were wondering what to do in order to secure their flight so that no one else died. Everyone wanted to live, and were willing to go to any extent in order to make this happen.


Still, the man made his way into the cockpit after shooting the flight attendant, and held a glock toward the pilots. Luckily, a law was just passed that pilots couldn't carry guns on the plane, but they could carry tasers. With the gun aimed at the pilots head, the pilot moved ever so slow so that the man thought he was shifty because he was nervous, but that wasn't the case. It was simply what the man wanted the pilot to believe.


The pilot managed to pull out his taser without the man knowing what was happening, and once the man realized it was two late. Bolts of electricity coursed through his body. The man lay on the ground pulsating with electrical shock.


Another passenger saw the whole thing, ran up to the man, took his gun from his hand, and shot him in the head.


The plane and crew were at last safe.

Writing Prompt 3-4-10 The Secret Scar

Prompt: "Well, if you could accuse anybody of being downright evil, it would be him"

Evil comes in many shapes and tons of different forms. Each human has their very own definition of evil. For example, a person who is a "every time the doors are open" churchgoer could be considered evil due simply to the hypocrisy that most of us find inside the church doors. Others may consider a person evil if they should kill the person who betrayed them in one fucked up domestic violence situation. Still, others may find evil to lay inside themselves, and therefore consider themselves evil. The world is full of good, as well as, it is full of evil. Evil is simply an emotion that all humans must embrace within themselves.


With all of us, there are crimes that are so horrible they make our stomachs turn, yell, and weep in disgust. These evil emotions shape us to be non-trusting, non-forgiving, and also to loose faith in the good that can be found in the world. Once an evil emotion hurts a human that intensely, usually they never recover. This is what happened to Scarlett. She stopped trusting. She never forget the evil she experienced, and she never got any revenge for it. It has just stuck with her in the pit of her belly with no way to ever escape or make herself "whole" again. 


Scarlett has seen many psychiatrists in order to deal with this evil, yet nothing they do, say, or prescribe her to take have even started to tear into the hurt even in the smallest way. Scarlett has come to the realization that she will just be forever tormented by the evil that she experienced as a child, and the guilt that resides inside her due to the evil she experienced.


Scarlett was six when the evil started. Scarlett lived in front of an elderly couple, and she always had a soft spot for elderly couples, and loved to go help them by doing the dishes, walking their poodles, or just watching the evening news with them. It was the favorite thing about Scarlett's childhood.


She would visit the elderly couple that lived behind her everyday. The wife, May, cooked with Scarlett, made her Christmas ornaments, had her a birthday party even though her mother also gave her one. May gave her presents all the time, and Scarlett was the grandchild she had never had the pleasure to have.Scarlett loved being with May. Scarlett looked up to May as a role model in her life. 


May's husband, Mr. Kermit, also loved Scarlett, but in a different way. Mr. Kermit found child attractive and beautiful. Scarlett would sit in Mr. Kermit's lap and look at old encyclopedias about Indians. The Indians were naked. It was the first time she ever saw naked men, and she was curious. she loved sitting in his lap and looking at those books. Mr. Kermit explained to Scarlett that all men looked like that naked. She was shocked. She was impressed. She wanted to know more. 


Mr. Kermit asked Scarlett if she wanted to see him naked, and being the adventurous girl she was, she happily obliged. Mr. Kermit took her to his bedroom while May was out shopping, and showed Scarlett his nakedness. Then, he asked Scarlett if she wanted to touch it. She did. She wanted to know what it felt like. Then, he went further, and asked her if she wanted to put her mouth on it. She did. Afterall, we all want to know what things taste like. Scarlett liked it. She saw nothing wrong with what she was doing. She liked the way Mr. Kermit felt. 

Then, Mr. kermit asked Scarlett if she wanted to show him below her panties so that she could feel the way his nakedness against her nakedness. She did. She removed her panties, and felt him against him even though he couldn't enter her. He then asked if she wanted to feel him taste her. She did. She thought it all felt so wonderful and delightful. 


May came home shortly afterwards, and they quickly got dressed. Mr. kermit told her, "If you tell your Momma about this, she won't let you come back over here". She never told her Momma because she liked the way it felt and wanted it to continue. She would visit The Kermit's everyday, especially on the days that May wasn't home. 


This routine continued for years until Mr. Kermit did the same thing to another little girl from his church. That girl's parents went and talked to Scarlett's parents. Scarlett knew that she would never get to see Mr. Kermit again, and at that same time she realized that what was happening was wrong and evil. Out of nowhere, Scarlett went from feeling joy to guilt that she did something that was very incredibly wrong. 


Scarlett's mother put her in therapy, but Scarlett wouldn't talk. The whole issue became a family matter that was never discussed again. To this day, Scarlett has never seen Mr. Kermit or May again. Scarlett doesn't know if he is alive or dead, or even if he went to jail. Still, Scarlett doesnt want to know either. 


Simply put, as her name implies, Scarlett, just means that there are many scars underneath that have no need to ever be discussed. Scarlett is an adult now, but looking back if she could ever accuse anyone of being downright evil, it would be Mr. Kermit who took advantage of a child, and made her like it.